In case anyone is interested, I've just opened two new author related things:

1) An official, all in one, rss fed webpage for anyone who wants to see what I'm up to. Find it at: sites.google.com/site/dwolf34

2) An official author webpage on Amazon, along with my first offering there which should look very familiar to those who read what I post here. Find it at: amazon.com/author/dwolf34

Look for me on Smashwords next! And look for the novel out soon. Sadly, it has no tentacle sex. But it does have a dragon!

Two Wolves

This is an old, old story - older than some of the hills. I’m sure you’ve heard it before somewhere, maybe in another form with different characters or told with different words. I’ve heard many versions, myself. It’s as true today as it was yesterday, and as it will be tomorrow. Because it’s true, and because some people I know need to hear it, I’ll tell it again. I hope you like it enough to share it where it needs to be heard, as well.


Once there was a young boy who sought out his grandfather. Tears were running down his face as he plopped himself down in the dirt at the older man’s feet. The grandfather set aside his work and asked the boy what was wrong.

“Oh Grandfather,” wailed the boy, “I hurt so much! I feel like there is an angry wolf inside me trying to tear me to pieces!”

The older man nodded. He’d seen this before.. “That’s because there is,” he told his grandson. And when the boy looked startled, he gathered him into his arms. “Actually, there are two wolves inside each of us.”

The boy wiped tears from his eyes. “Two wolves? How can we live with two wolves inside us? Won’t they just rip us to shreds?”

The grandfather shook his head. “Those two wolves always battle each other first, grandson. Only when they’re done do they turn to us. One wolf is the wolf you feel now - the wolf of anger, hatred, sorrow, despair and worry. It will happily eat you up from the inside. But there is another wolf, too - the wolf of love, happiness, compassion, peace and gratitude. It would rather lick you than eat you.” He licked his grandson’s cheek to show him just what he meant.

The boy giggled, just as the older man knew he would. “I want that wolf to win! How can I help the good wolf win, Grandfather?”

The grandfather put the boy on his feet again and looked him in the eye. “The strongest wolf will always win. You choose which wolf grows best within you by what you feed them most, with your words, your actions, and your thoughts.” With that, the grandfather picked up his work again and sent the boy off to think about his wolves.


Hating is easy. Blaming someone else for our sorrow and pain is easy, too. But what we feel in the end comes down to exactly which of those wolves inside us we choose to feed.

I offer up this tale with gratitude that I have learned it, compassion for those who need to hear it, and love for all who listen. Thank you! And thank you too, for spreading this tale around more!

dwolf34, 11/20/2013

Call for a Beta Reader.

Hello all. I'm looking for someone(s) who would be willing to beta a novel (or two, or three) for me.
Length: @61,000 words
Genre: Fantasy erotica (not mommy porn)
Setting: Modern day with a twist.
Warnings: BDSM, m/m graphic sex, transgender subjects. Also loving, caring families and friends, spiritual/mystical/magical subjects, and a blatant hijacking of Atlantis (and other ancient cultures) myths. I'm sorry, there are no werewolves, vampires, aliens or space travel, and although there is a dragon, he is only a spiritual manifestation. The crows are pretty wicked, though. :)

What I'm looking for is someone who can check for grammar issues (the spellchecker catches the rest), continuity and confusing sections, and perhaps offer an opinion whether it drags in places or skips too much in others.

If you're interested, please message me through LiveJournal. Thanks!

eBooks, not just the future anymore

Hi, let me introduce myself. I'm dwolf34, a real writer with a fictitious name, a handle, that, despite the fact that I've been using it online for the last twenty-three years. Writer, not Author, because at this moment, I have almost nothing in print. Except here. And other places on the web. And a high school publication I barely count. With any luck, and some incentive, I'll soon be putting my first novel length (61k words) work up on Amazon for everyone to enjoy. (Stay tuned for updates. And teasers.) Soon, I'll have my first ISBN, my first for pay publication. And I'll finally consider myself an Author.

And I'll feel just as fake about it as I feel about my handle. Why? I'm self publishing an ebook, doing my own promotion and cover and everything. I haven't even sent the manuscript anywhere for consideration to be turned into a real, live, print book. And it's not that I'm scared of rejection, or impatient, or insecure about my story, or don't want to "settle" for a small publisher. It's because I love ebooks in much the same way that I used to love my huge collection of paper novels.

Let me talk about that collection for a moment. I currently own three or four hundred paperbacks (after a drastic reduction several years ago), another couple hundred hardbacks, and a dozen or so audiobooks on CD. Other than some reference hardbacks and graphic novels, everything is in boxes in storage, and they have been for a couple of years now. I'm about to find most of them new homes, because really? It's easier to pick up my Kindle and browse through the several hundred books in it than to struggle with a heavy hardback or mess with trying to keep the paperbacks in some kind of order so I can find what I want. Not to mention the fact that I can start reading an ebook on my Kindle, then easily pick up where I left off on my phone when I'm out. Or my PC when I'm in a dark room. They take no physical room to store, and are almost instantly available when I change my reading hardware. And while there are considerations about batteries and tech fails, at least my ebooks haven't killed any trees.

Is it any wonder, then, that I don't really care much if the book(s) I write end up on paper somewhere? No.

Oh, I have plenty more reasons for deciding to epublish on my own. Continuing to have control of my copyright is one. Being stubborn enough to not want someone else to tell me what other people want to read is another. The incredible success of a recent New York Times best seller that started as fanfic is another. The need just to share what I've written is another reason.

Even the fact that some of the books I'd like to own aren't available in any legally obtainable electronic format (which only makes pirating more likely, by the way) has influenced this decision.

Ebooks are not the future of the interaction between writer and reader. They are the current, growing trend, the current market. The future will likely hold some advanced form of the media that we can only speculate about now. (Although I hold out hopes for author upgrades, linked side stories, Q&A forums and cosplay and fanfic links.) The future of print books is also likely to be more influenced by what ebooks are selling than what an editor thinks will sell. Lets face it, folks, the instant feedback the internet provides is already influencing what we see on TV, in movies, on the book shelves.

Can I afford to ignore the trend? No. Can I revel in it and enjoy the freedom it gives me? Yes. So look for my first self published ebook to be out soon. And if, perhaps, you'd like to beta a steamy, graphic erotica manuscript with BDSM scenes and a trans/poly/bi/pagan main character, drop me a line and we'll talk about it. Later, all.

Nothing Lost 5/5

Title: Nothing Lost (5/5)
Author: dwolf34
Rating: R. m/m/alien sex. Really. Sorry, I meant finally.
Characters/Pairings: Torchwood team, Notlar (original character), Jack/Ianto/Notlar
Disclaimer: Torchwood and its characters don't belong to me; nice folks at the BBC got to them first. Just borrowing, no profit, everyone goes home unharmed.
Spoilers: Maybe some for TW season one and two, somewhere. Assumes Kiss Kiss Bang Bang occured, but has gone all AU from there.

Two and a half years later, and I can't believe I didn't get this up. So sorry for how long this has taken to finish and post, but here it finally is, after so many personal heartbreaks (and bone breaks) life changes. Many thanks to coffeegirl18 for the beta job, loads of support and squees, and putting up with my silly emails and occasional soapbox swaps. I still claim all strange uses of punctuation as my own, even though she tried to set me straight. Remaining misspellings are entirely the fault of my spell checker. Me taking a leap into posting something that I'm still working on is all about skellerbvvt poking me and sanginmychains for so politely asking for an update. And don't forget the donuts and chocolate. Mmmm.

Summary: Follows "The Things Jack Does", and "Not Sleeping" and is a continuation of the storyline. Gwen and Rhys need rescuing, and decisions need to be made about Notlar.

"Part 1 Here"
"Part 2 Here"
"Part 3 Here"
"Part 4 Here"
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Cardigans and Cats.

Recently I discovered a direct correlation between high intelligence and emotional instability. In an effort to save myself from an inevitable attempt at suicide, I have decided to kill some brain cells and thereby lower my IQ. My weapon of choice is rum. And a little Dr. Pepper. And more rum.

To further protect myself, I will go out tomorrow and purchase several cardigans, all in tones of grey and maybe black. After that, I'll be looking around for free kittens. Does anyone know how many it takes to be officially considered a crazy cat lady? I believe that is my best defense.